How are you? Enjoying the off-season, taking a load off? Read no further.
If that's not the case and you are as bored as we are and looking for some reading material that has something to do with tennis - you're in luck!
We've decided to be super-original and just like a lot of other tennis media outlets we bring you a special list of stuff having to do with tennis and more precisely – watching tennis on internet streams! Yeah that's right! Let's get started, shall we?
1. The stream can read your mind! If you happen to find a link that works smoothly and doesn't "stutter", it is strictly forbidden to have thoughts like "Ha! This is working well!". This kind of thought will immediately lead to a succession of malfunctions that will make watching the match literally impossible, even if it had worked perfectly for 4 full sets of play.
This matter is especially relevant to the first few seconds of starting up a new link. The second you allow yourself to think you have reached "The promised land" – you've ruined it. Regrettably, thinking of this is ultimately inevitable but you have to make the effort and fight it as long as humanly possible.
2. The Instability Formula – There are a few leading causes to stream instability – whether isolated or combined. The bigger the tournament, the higher the ranking of the players involved, the more advanced the round, the way a certain set or even game are advancing or being "close", the more time of day you've spent fantasizing about coming back home and relaxing in front of your computer watching the match and your favorite player – The more one of these things (or a bunch of them) is important to you, the bigger the chance that you won't find a single stream that works smoothly.
Want to watch a smooth-as-silk HD broadcast with Dolby surround sound quality tennis? You can always tune into the 1st round of a challenger event in Kazakhstan or the final of college wheelchair tennis in Mississippi.
3. Pseudo-Stream – A stream that mocks you and takes advantage of your delicate state as a hardcore tennis fan. It works perfectly fine, no freezing or hiccups, the sound is smooth and the video quality is excellent , showing you Murray winning an important break point with the score being 2:2 in the 1st set – while in reality they're playing a 3rd set nerve-wrecking winner-takes-all tiebreak.
4. The Stream Variety Paradox – The more links a certain match has on Live-score hunter (or any other stream site), the bigger the chances are that all of them aren't working/damaged/corrupt etc. Actually, when a match is only "represented" by a single link – it will usually work just fine.
5. The Eternal Dilemma – You've finally found a stream that works great but the video quality is poor, the players are just two colored dots on the screen and the commentator is speaking a weird foreign language – shouting actually, treating every point as if it was the match point of a 5-setter slam final. Now what? Should you close this stream and look for a better one, preferably in English? Absolutely Not! In more cases than not, you won't find something better and when you'll try to get back to your "foreign friend" he'll turn his back on you, telling you he's "no longer available".
6. You never go Full-Screen – Contrary to common sense and without any reasonable technological explanation, the second you hit that full-screen button the proverbial excrement will hit the ventilator and your beloved stream will never be the same. Neither going back to window-mode nor praying to the gods of the interwebz will make it whole again.
7. Crowd Knows Best – At the beginning of every match, make sure to recognize which of the two players is the crowd-favorite. This way, if and when the video feed gets stuck (not the audio, mind you) during an important point, you'll be able to know who won the point by listening to the crowd's reaction.
8. Murphy Loves Tennis – Some streams have the tendency to repeatedly freeze at the beginning of a point – the moment a served ball lands on the other side of the net – and "come back to life" during the changeover, with the camera focused on Ferrer having a drink of water. Also, streams will always freeze during a Hawk-Eye challenge, exactly at the moment when the animation is supposed to show if the ball was in or out. In this case, use what you've learned in the previous paragraph and listen to the reaction of the crowd to understand if the challenge was good or not.
On the other hand, if the stream freezes during a moment you'd like to stretch on and on – e.g. a Rafa Nadal shirt change – the second you start praying for it to stay stuck for a little longer it will immediately unfreeze and play will resume.
9. It's always someone's fault – Many a time you will spend the hours before an important match threatening your parents/siblings/roommates/neighbors-from-whom-you're-"borrowing"-WiFi that starting _fill-in-the-time-here_ there will be no usage of internet infrastructure - not for downloads, not for site-surfing, not even to update their Star Wars angry birds mobile app….OR ELSE! Eventually, all of this won't make a difference, the stream will freeze and between punching the wall and head-butting the table you'll find yourself blaming your sweet little grandmother for playing solitaire on her old Pentium computer that isn't even connected to the internet.
10. Resistance is futile – There's no point in having thoughts like "Perhaps if I…. place the computer next to the router/sit in the router's room/use the dog as an amplifying antenna/don't shut the door/open the windows/don't move/don't eat/don't breath… Forget it. Whatever you do or don't do, the stream WILL freeze and there's nothing you can do about it. Accept it and move on.
11. Spoiler Alert – Stay away from Twitter and its derivatives while streaming a match. There will always be someone with a faster connection that will ruin it for you. Just say no to TweetDeck.
12. Director's Cut – There's nothing more annoying than a stream "director" that switches the channel the second after the match is over and doesn't let you watch the speeches/trophy lift/Roger crying/Rafa cramping/Nole roaring/Ivan smiling/Sir Sean Connery fist-pumping (!) and so on and so forth. It's even worse when you're able to see the offensive alternative to these historical moments of glory – like robot-jockey camel racing or 3rd league curling challenge for senior citizens. Makes you want to cut somebody, no?
Have more Ideas/rules/things you've learned from streaming tennis? Tell us in the comments section!
The Original Hebrew version belongs to Gili Atar (https/twitter.com/giliatar) and can be found here.
Translated and adapted by Israel Tennis Results.